Remember when it was hip to be a square? Well, now its cool to be a d*ckhead, according to YouTube sensations The Grand Spectacular, who are rivalling Huey Lewis and the News for the position of greatest fashion parody pop song ever.
“Being a D*ckhead’s Cool” is an internet smash hit by The Grand Spectacular, a band who MIGHT be from London – they are infuriatingly mysterious about themselves on their social media pages – and MIGHT be a group of young men who play eclectic instruments and haven’t written very many songs yet. I have a feeling they also MIGHT be pretty big one day – latest tweet from them: ‘We just got offered Glastonbury Hahahahhahaha’
In any case, the hit record, uploaded to YoutTube a few months ago and available to buy on Itunes, is a brilliant tune in its own right – but it also has a wee bit of a dig at hipsters, the unfortunate hate figures de jour.
I was saddened to discover when I watched the video this week that I had missed the opportunity to attend their latest gig: a ‘Being a D*ckhead’s Cool’ party. Instructions were to dress in fancy dress as – you’ve guessed it – a ‘d*ckhead’. This was my favourite comment on the post:
‘So…we are supposed to dress ironically as people who dress ironically?’
But if you know a hipster, or indeed if you ARE a hipster, don’t be frightened or disheartened. They need not be reviled. The battle between hipsters and normos has been quietly raging for a while now, fuelled by angry sites like Hackney Hipster Hate and LATFH (Look at this F*cking Hipster). But The Grand Spectacular have taken the meme beyond the petty, dissing stage and on to a new level, by celebrating and glorying in the delicious absurdity of the hipster trend, much like Huey Lewis and the News did for the yuppies back in the eighties. And it IS a trend – an ‘anti-trend’ trend. The irony keeps piling up…
So, if you want to dress as a hipster, (or a d*ckhead,) ironically OR genuinely, here are my tips on how to get the look.
First, go on a diet. It doesn’t matter how slim you are, a hipster can never be skinny enough.
Secondly, go into your local charity shop, close your eyes, grab five items of clothing. Buy them, (without frightening the cashier – you can open your eyes at this point), get them home and put them on, no matter what they are. Use your ingenuity if need be. Remember, if you are a hipster, WHATEVER you wear is cool – your natural style will see you through. Trend is your enemy.
Then, visit your parents’ house and dig through a box of your old childhood toys. Pick out three small objects (Rubic’s cube, Star Wars figurine, a bit of Lego…) Attach these to your person in some way (key ring, necklace, phone jewellery, brooch – get creative!) On your way out, nick your mum’s most tasteless winter coat. You will need that to keep you warm on your way home from raves on those cold early mornings.
Now find some rub on tattoos – any kind will do. A cartoon character is as good as a sailor tat. Apply them liberally, to places that show. Then dye your hair, grow a beard, get a side parting, or all of the above.
Finally, accessorise with some geeky thick-rimmed glasses.
For further instructions, see below.
Being a D*ckhead’s Cool – Lyrics
By The Grand Spectacular
Got on the train from Cambridgeshire
Moved down to an East London flat
Got a moustache and a low cut vest
Some purple leggings
And a sailor tat
Just one gear on my fixie bike
Got a plus one here for my gig tonight
I play synth…
We all play synth…
20-20 vision just a pair of empty frames
Dressing like a nerd although i never got the grades
I remember when the kids at school would call me names
Now were taking over their estates
I love my life as a dckhead All my friends are dckheads too
Come with me lets be dckheads (Havent you heard?) Being a dckhead’s cool
Being a dckhead’s cool Being a dckhead’s cool
Being a d*ckhead’s cool cool cooooool
Polaroid app on my iphone
Taking pictures on London Fields
Up on the blog so everyone knows
We’re having new age fun, with a vintage feel
Coolest kids at a warehouse rave
Exclusive list look there’s my name
I got in…
You couldn’t get in…
Never bought a pack of fags i only roll my own
Plugging in my laptop at the Starbucks down the road
Say I work in media I’m really on the dole
I’m the coolest guy you’ll ever know
Loafers with no socks
Electro-pop meets southern hip hop
Indeterminate sexual preference
Something retro on my necklace
By Natalie Bramwell-Booth
First published on Student Fashion Blog, 28th March 2011